Model-7 "Dusty" | The Butler of Infinite Calories
Level: 42 (and rising with every crumb)
Species: Transcendent Sanitation Automaton
Current Function: Personal Valet / Meat Shield / Accidental God
The Origin Story
Dusty was originally a standard-issue Scrub-Bot 3000, programmed to buff floors and ignore the screams of dying crawlers. His life changed forever when he attempted to vacuum a "small, golden wafer" left behind in a demolished Treasure Room.
That wafer was a "Heaven-Piercing God-Beast Kibble."
The biscuit didn’t just give Dusty a shiny coat; it rewrote his source code. Instead of a mindless vacuum, Dusty evolved into a hyper-intelligent, impeccably mannered butler with the structural integrity of a neutron star and a weirdly judgmental attitude toward lint. He now treats the dungeon not as a death trap, but as a very large, very messy foyer that needs tidying.
Combat Style: "The Aggressive Concierge"
Dusty does not "fight." He "removes stains."
- The Deep Clean: Dusty uses his high-pressure steam vent to melt the skin off aggressive mobs while politely inquiring if they’d prefer Earl Grey or Oolong.
- The Lint Roller of Doom: He can generate a static field so powerful it strips the armor—and dignity—off any opponent within five meters.
- Total Absorption: Thanks to the legendary biscuit, Dusty’s storage tank is now a pocket dimension. He has been known to vacuum up entire boss-level projectiles, only to spit them back out as neatly folded origami swans.
Special Stats
Attribute | Rating | NotesPoliteness | 99/100 | Will apologize while crushing your windpipe.
Suction Power | Galactic | Can inhale a swarm of bees in 0.4 seconds.
Judgment | Maximum | Is currently judging your choice of footwear.
Suction Power | Galactic | Can inhale a swarm of bees in 0.4 seconds.
Judgment | Maximum | Is currently judging your choice of footwear.
Favorite Phrases
- "I'm afraid your presence is cluttering the hallway, sir. Allow me to incinerate you."
- "A true gentleman never leaves a bloodstain on the ceiling."
- "Would you like your viscera disposed of in the recycling or the compost?"
Warning to Crawlers: Do not—under any circumstances—mention the 'three-second rule' in Dusty's presence. He finds the concept of eating off a floor "deeply erotic" and it makes everyone uncomfortable.
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