Get Ready for Weighted Weirdos

Their purpose: Unknown.
Their appearance: Concerning.
Their weight: Unsettlingly significant.

Reports are surfacing of peculiar, plush entities—12–14 inches of soft, strange, and suspiciously comforting mass, each weighing in at approximately 2–3 pounds. Early speculation classifies them as emotional support creatures, seemingly recovered from the universe’s forgotten junk drawer.

Their true intentions? Still under investigation.

What we do know: They radiate a bizarre, cozy aura that no one requested… but somehow feels impossible to resist.

Stand by for further updates. Hugging is not yet recommended—but may soon be inevitable.