Darwyn

Congratulations, crawler. You have successfully created a forum account instead of doing anything useful for your survival. Bold strategy. Let’s see how it plays out.


CLASS: Wizard (Unverified)
SUBCLASS: “I Read Half a Spell Once”
THREAT LEVEL: Manageable (for now)


This crawler claims to be an arcane practitioner. Evidence suggests otherwise. Current magical methodology includes shouting, guessing, and emotionally committing to catastrophically bad ideas.


SKILL HIGHLIGHTS:

• Casting spells with absolute confidence and minimal understanding
  
  
• Triggering traps before the party rogue can say “wait”
  
  
• Identifying cursed items by equipping them immediately
  
  

PASSIVE ABILITY UNLOCKED: “PROBLEM ESCALATION”
Minor inconveniences are automatically upgraded to life-threatening situations within 1–3 actions. Cooldown: nonexistent.


ACHIEVEMENTS:

• “Oops, All Casualties” — Survive an encounter by ensuring everyone else dies first
  
  
• “Forbidden Means Encouraged” — Cast a spell clearly labeled DO NOT CAST
  
  
• “That Wasn’t There Before” — Create a new and deeply upsetting problem
  
  

Party members report side effects including: spontaneous mutations, reality instability, and a strong desire to walk in the opposite direction.


WARNING: This crawler demonstrates a persistent inability to learn from past mistakes. Repeated exposure is not recommended.


ALIGNMENT UPDATE: “Seemed Funny At The Time”


If you are considering inviting this user into your party, please review the following risk assessment:

• 12% chance of success
  
  
• 38% chance of total party wipe
  
  
• 50% chance of something worse that cannot currently be categorized
  
  

FINAL NOTE:
The system would like to remind all users that just because you can cast a spell does not mean you should.


This reminder will be ignored.