Katee Robert (they/she)

CREATOR

4 days ago

Project Update: Choose Your Own Adventure: The Beginning...

Before we get into the Choose Your Own Adventure, we have a few bits of housekeeping leading into the launch of the project.

We shared an update with prices, shipping, and Pay Over Time in a previous post. You can find all that information here.

Signed Copies: Best Method to Ensure You Get Yours

We’ve had this question come up a few times, and we wanted to offer some clarifying information to make your process as smooth as possible!

Folks with reservations will get access to the project 24hrs before launch, on April 8th at 10am Pacific.
Your cart is not locked until you click the Confirm Your Pledge button.
If you’re going for a signed hardcover set, we recommend selecting your tier, bypassing the add-ons, and finalizing your checkout.
After that, you can edit your pledge at your leisure without concern about losing your spot. To do this, you just click Edit Pledge. Do notchange your tier. From here, you will be able to add any add-ons to your order. Confirm your pledge, same as before.
As a reminder, you will not be charged until May 2nd.

Choose Your Own Adventure

In previous polls, you chose:

Setting: Deep, dark woods
Bluebeard: A poised gentleman (with freak in the sheet vibes)
Main character: Who’s just come into an unexpected inheritance with some rather unique terms…

Now it’s time to begin the story. Where else, but at…

The Beginning

As your rental car bumps over the uneven dirt road, you can’t help checking your phone for the twelfth time in as many minutes. Still no service. You’re a long way from your tiny apartment in the middle of town, but the letter sitting primly in the passenger seat couldn’t be denied. An inheritance, a number with more zeroes than you’ve ever seen in real life, all from an uncle you’ve never met, courtesy of an impulsive DNA test you sent off a few years back.

The trees finally retreat just enough for you to see your apparent destination. You slam on the brakes before you can stop yourself, eyes wide. That is…not a normal house. It towers nearly as tall as the trees surrounding it, their branches reaching for the windows as if trying–and failing–to gain entry. The door brings to mind a mouth waiting to swallow you whole. You shudder.

But it’s a lot of money. A life-changing amount of money. The kind of money that memes on the internet are made of. All you have to do is spend a month in this creepy ass house, going through your dead uncle’s things with the appraiser. Apparently the uncle you didn’t know about until a week ago was something of a collector and there are dozens of museums chomping at the bit to gain access to the items he kept tucked away from the public. Simple. Strange, but simple.

With a sigh, you shut off the car and climb out. Your suitcase has seen better days, but who has money for something as frivolous as traveling these days? You will, though. You wheel your way over the gravel walkway and up the slightly-tilted steps to the door. It’s even bigger up close, looming well over your perfectly normal height. Do you knock? This is technically your house now, or at least it will be after you fulfill the sorting of your uncle’s things required by the will. But you’ve never been here before, and some rules are too ingrained to break.

So you knock, using the oversized door knocker in the shape of something vaguely demonic.

The door creaks open before you have a chance to drop your hand, the deep shadows of the foyer greeting you. But it’s not empty. A man stands there, so still, you almost mistake him for a statue before the pale light of the fading afternoon reaches his face. You jolt. He’s handsome–really handsome. Square jaw, styled dark hair, a lush mouth. His suit is perfectly tailored to his broad shoulders, the deep purple contrasting his pale skin. He smiles when he sees you, the expression warming his face and chasing away your thrill of unease. “Welcome home.”

Home. The thought is laughable. You’re here for a task, and once you see it through, you’ll never step foot in this place again. But it doesn’t hurt to be polite, so you manage a smile in response. “Happy to be here.”

“I’m Bluebeard.” He extends a hand.

“I’m… Well, I suppose you know who I am since you sent the letter explaining my connection to my uncle.” You take his hand. He gives a good handshake, strong without being overwhelming, releasing you before things have a chance to get awkward.

“I’ll show you to your room.” He turns and leaves you to follow him deeper into the house.

As you step fully inside, a wind whips through the space, slamming the door behind you. You startle nearly out of your skin and then laugh awkwardly. “Drafty in these old houses.”

“Something like that.” He pauses long enough to scoop up your suitcase and starts up the stairs. They’re gorgeous in the same way the house is–with a healthy dose of creepy. They’re easily wide enough for three people to walk shoulder to shoulder, and the railing looks almost hand-carved. It must have cost a fortune or be old as dirt–or both.

“Your uncle’s staff is retained through this process, but they leave at sundown. If you need anything after they’re gone, I’ll be happy to provide it.” The words are spoken frankly, without so much as a hint of insinuation.

You rush to keep up, nearly jogging up the stairs behind him, doing your damnedest not to breathe hard and embarrass yourself. “You’re staying overnight?”

“The staff all live in the village a short distance away, but there aren’t any hotels or the like. As you just discovered, it’s a rather long drive from the nearest civilization.”

The hair at the nape of your neck prickles, but just like before, there’s nothing wrong with his words. You give yourself a shake. You’re so used to the horrors of the world that you’re jumping at shadows. He’s here to do a job, same as you are. “Did you know my uncle well?”

“Unfortunately, no. He hired me a few months ago after my predecessor passed in his sleep.” He glances over his shoulder and smiles reassuringly. “No condolences necessary. He was ninety-six. People in my profession don’t tend to go out in a dramatic way. It was all very civilized.”

Nothing about death is civilized, no matter when or how it happens, but you don’t know this man and he’s being very polite.

You follow him off the staircase and onto the second floor, though you can’t help eyeing the darkness where the stairs continue upward to the third floor. There must be an attic in this place, probably a basement, too. “When can we get started going through everything?”

“In the morning. This is your room.” He stops in front of a door in the long hallway filled with identical doors, and opens it to reveal a bedroom out of a fairy tale. All the furniture, from the four-poster bed to the vanity with a stool in front of it, look positively ancient. But it’s clean and it smells nicely of lemon.

You almost ask where he’s sleeping, but that question might come across as an invitation you have no intention of following through on. “Thank you.”

He nudges your suitcase through the door and steps back to allow you to enter. “One other thing.”

You pause in the doorway. “Yes?”

“This is an old house and the electrical wiring can be temperamental. It would be best if you didn’t wander after dark. You might end up getting turned around or, gods forbid, hurting yourself.”

Turned around? The house is large, but it’s hardly a maze. All you’d have to do is find the stairs and you can navigate your way to your room without issue. Granted, the power outages you’ve experienced over the years have been discombobulating in the extreme, and that’s in a space you’ve lived in for years. “I suppose you’ll warn me of ghosts next?”

Instead of smiling, he winces. “I’m not given to flights of fantasy, but this house is strange. As long as you follow the rules, you should be perfectly fine.”

The rules? He’s barely given you any information at all. You glance at him again, waiting for the laugh, for him to tell you this is all a joke, some ridiculous form of hazing the dead man’s last surviving relative. He doesn’t. He just turns and walks away, the shadows seeming to pull him into them as he turns the corner in the hallway. You could have sworn it was only late afternoon when you arrived, but when you turn to look out the window, it’s full dark. Odd, but you’re further north than you’re used to. Maybe night just falls fast in the forest.

There’s a plate of food on the nightstand, a delicious-looking sandwich, chips, and a gently steaming pot of tea, ready to pour. Another door leads into a bathroom with a tub and shower. You have everything you need to see you through until morning.

But the rule is so odd. Don’t wander the house at night? You’re an adult. You don’t need to be confined to your room like a child. Your entire purpose for being in this house is to go through all your late uncle’s things and categorize them appropriately.

Though it has been a long day, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a soak in the tub, eat the prepared meal, and read one of the romance novels you bought for this trip.

You…

***

Comment below to tell us what you should do next! Will you stay safely tucked away in your room for the night? Will you venture forth from your room to investigate the other rooms on the second floor? Will you do something entirely different? The choices are infinite! If you see an option you like, be sure to up-vote it! We’ll give you four options to vote on in a poll on Monday, April 6th.

The next step of our story is in your hands…

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