CREATOR
Starting a brand new poll for passing $7.75 Million! This one's special, we're calling it the Ben Wolf Weekend Warrior New Threat Options Poll For Crawlers.
That might be too long of a name. đ¤
Anyway, as you might have guessed, all of today's poll options come from the mind of Ben Wolf! Check out his threats and then go vote in the companion poll!
Dandy Lions
Remember that part in The Lion King when Scar sings âBe Preparedâ along with the hyenas? That scene was supposed to
include a Vaudeville-style dance number, complete with fancy clothes, a straw boater hat, and a cane.
Well, they scrapped the number, but we resurrected the stylings for our Dandy Lions. Yes, theyâre extra-fancy lions who talk with
mid-Atlantic accents and can walk on their hind legs. But if you piss them off, you might just unleash the animal within.
Hopefully your comedy routine is better than the lousy writer they hired to write these snippets.
Glimmerbread House
You know how Mimics can get huge, sometimes even growing the size of buildings or bigger? This Mob is kinda like that one.
Shimmering and glittering whether theyâre in the light or not,Glimmerbread Houses are literally houses made of bread made of
glimmer grains and yak yeast. They start out small (that tiny house trend from our planet? Bad idea, folks) but can grow into
mansions and palaces if left unchecked. So how do you kill one?
Letâs just say youâd better start eating it before it eats you.
Sentient Belts
I know this one sounds lame, but bear with me, okay? You humans are overly fascinated by belts. You wear them and use
them like, all the time. Seriously. Belts to hold up your pants. Seatbelts in your cars and serpentine belts under your hood. Martial arts belts of different colors, bandoliers for holding extra ammo and grenades to make you look cool in action movies⌠the list goes on. And donât even get me started on straps.
These belts can choke you, tie you up, dangle you over the side of a bridge, or dive straight into your wide-open mouth and shred you from the inside out. Thatâs what you get for gawking at the sight of a trench coat belt smothering your fellow crawlers⌠in a trench⌠I guess.
Maximus Decimus Furridius
This is an Elite.
Gladiator remains one of the most iconic movies in all of Earthâs history. (The first one, not whatever the hell the second one was.)
It single-handedly propelled Russell Crowe to superstardom, and the guy hasnât âmissedâ in a long time. Well, aside from his
singing in Les Miserables, anyway. We took the soul of his iconic character, the strength, resolve, and unrelenting quest for vengeance he displayed in that film, and we gave it to a guy in a furry costume. Yep. You heard me. Neon-colored fur. The head of a fox, or a wolf, or some other nebulous doglike creature. Oversized padded paws instead of hands make it hard for him to hold a gladius, but not impossible. And, of course, a poofy striped tail. Oh, and all of that furry gear functions as pretty fuckinâ awesome
armor.
Good luck with this one, kids!
That might be too long of a name. đ¤
Anyway, as you might have guessed, all of today's poll options come from the mind of Ben Wolf! Check out his threats and then go vote in the companion poll!
Dandy Lions
Remember that part in The Lion King when Scar sings âBe Preparedâ along with the hyenas? That scene was supposed to
include a Vaudeville-style dance number, complete with fancy clothes, a straw boater hat, and a cane.
Well, they scrapped the number, but we resurrected the stylings for our Dandy Lions. Yes, theyâre extra-fancy lions who talk with
mid-Atlantic accents and can walk on their hind legs. But if you piss them off, you might just unleash the animal within.
Hopefully your comedy routine is better than the lousy writer they hired to write these snippets.
Glimmerbread House
You know how Mimics can get huge, sometimes even growing the size of buildings or bigger? This Mob is kinda like that one.
Shimmering and glittering whether theyâre in the light or not,Glimmerbread Houses are literally houses made of bread made of
glimmer grains and yak yeast. They start out small (that tiny house trend from our planet? Bad idea, folks) but can grow into
mansions and palaces if left unchecked. So how do you kill one?
Letâs just say youâd better start eating it before it eats you.
Sentient Belts
I know this one sounds lame, but bear with me, okay? You humans are overly fascinated by belts. You wear them and use
them like, all the time. Seriously. Belts to hold up your pants. Seatbelts in your cars and serpentine belts under your hood. Martial arts belts of different colors, bandoliers for holding extra ammo and grenades to make you look cool in action movies⌠the list goes on. And donât even get me started on straps.
These belts can choke you, tie you up, dangle you over the side of a bridge, or dive straight into your wide-open mouth and shred you from the inside out. Thatâs what you get for gawking at the sight of a trench coat belt smothering your fellow crawlers⌠in a trench⌠I guess.
Maximus Decimus Furridius
This is an Elite.
Gladiator remains one of the most iconic movies in all of Earthâs history. (The first one, not whatever the hell the second one was.)
It single-handedly propelled Russell Crowe to superstardom, and the guy hasnât âmissedâ in a long time. Well, aside from his
singing in Les Miserables, anyway. We took the soul of his iconic character, the strength, resolve, and unrelenting quest for vengeance he displayed in that film, and we gave it to a guy in a furry costume. Yep. You heard me. Neon-colored fur. The head of a fox, or a wolf, or some other nebulous doglike creature. Oversized padded paws instead of hands make it hard for him to hold a gladius, but not impossible. And, of course, a poofy striped tail. Oh, and all of that furry gear functions as pretty fuckinâ awesome
armor.
Good luck with this one, kids!
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